Big Square Dot

July 9, 2007

I am fairly certain that I will not make it until the age of one hundred years, so to call today the quarter-century mark of my life would be foolish, silly even. But, for what it’s worth, I have enjoyed the various forms of happiness, suffering, euphoria, and sheer misery that have all owned me at one point or another from the times that I was but knee-high to this very moment. To whom little in life is given much is earned and gained in the form of an intimate understanding of the world and our place in it. I cannot pretend to understand it all – I am but a pup yet. But I can offer a modest number of observations that my experiences, struggles, and triumphs have all taught me over the last twenty five years. I write the following words with complete sincerity:

1. Though we like to believe that we are ultimately positioned by our race, culture, political affiliation, sexual orientation, gender, and religious beliefs, we are wrong. What positions us in this world is whether we are a Have or a Have Not.
2. Ten percent of our brains and religiously based morals are of actual, practical use to us and those around us. The remaining ninety percent is theatre.
3. In this great nation of ours, founded on a spirit of true uniqueness and unabashed individuality, we are all seeking validation from others – we’re just too afraid to openly admit it.
4. Currency, whether in the form money, power, or intellect, is the single most important driving force behind our daily lives and the decisions we make.
5. Every single person on the face of this planet (male and female alike) has extremely bizarre sexual fantasies which they feel ashamed to pursue.

The Absolute Worst Advice That You Can Give To Someone Whose Life Is In Flux

I Feel So Alive

Time Capsule: April 28, 2003 ("Cute")

I’ve got a Bambi complex.

All too often I melt inside at the sight of a pre-year old child, captivated by its methodical attempts at simple actions. While at Niko Niko’s, I couldn’t take my eyes off of a beautiful child who was hand-spooning Greek style roasted potatoes into his mouth.

I don’t know - I guess it was his persistence at achieving something so…easy. Now I understand what a human’s pursuit of love looks like to - ‘god’?

Time Capsule: April 04, 2004 ("From Silk To Ceramics I'm Breaking Things")

Things in Hà Nội are a lot more beautiful and I can breathe here. This place has far more history than the south of Việt Nam and you can feel that from the people.

They don’t give a damn about me here, and while it’s great to walk the street as if I’m one of the locals, I know I’m not.

People still look at me the same way that they do all over the country - with bewilderment and confusion.

They all do the Scooby Doo head tilt when I say something in Vietnamese and no matter how fluent I ever get with the language, I’ll never be a native to Việt Nam.